I would rather he not think it at all. That is the intent of keeping it from him. [Trahearne was defensive of his reasons, but he didn't sound passionate about them at all. He sounded tired. He was tired. But he kept going.]

I don't imagine I would be the first thing to come up between them. [He knows it's a weak response. But he hadn't come up with sound resolution for it. It's time to fall back on the why.] ... You must understand why I do not want him to know this, Canach. It would be all the commander thinks about. All our time together here, however long that may be, will be spent with the fact I will be gone lingering in the back of his mind. I want him to experience this world without that, because he has gone through Tyria with enough weight on his shoulders. I cannot have him carry that again. Not here.