It changes the number of people who I either have to keep the truth from or pulling into this web of lies you're stringing up.
The Countess isn't an idiot. Whether I tell her or not, she'll figure out something is amiss eventually. And the longer you keep the truth from Syrlya, the worse it's going to be.
[And something like a mental mutter—] I never should have agreed to this from the start.
If you are so close to the Countess, Canach, you do not have to withhold the information. I understand it must be difficult for you. [He lets that hang in the air for a moment, knowing he must chooses his words carefully to some extent. It would not do him well to further annoy him, especially with the information he has.]
I am not stringing a web of lies to Syrlya. I am avoiding revealing to him what occurred, and I am avoiding it with good reason. Do not think I am peace with it. The fact it is for the better makes it no less difficult, but it is a fact none-the-less.
[Despite how hard he tried, it didn't sound that carefully chosen. Close? Them? Really? But he'll let his personal slights go for now.]
Yes, and tell me this. How do you think Syrlya is going to think when not one, not two, but three people knew the truth and he did not? Or what if someone else from our world appears? Someone from my time and someone who is not caught by one of us first?
I would rather he not think it at all. That is the intent of keeping it from him. [Trahearne was defensive of his reasons, but he didn't sound passionate about them at all. He sounded tired. He was tired. But he kept going.]
I don't imagine I would be the first thing to come up between them. [He knows it's a weak response. But he hadn't come up with sound resolution for it. It's time to fall back on the why.] ... You must understand why I do not want him to know this, Canach. It would be all the commander thinks about. All our time together here, however long that may be, will be spent with the fact I will be gone lingering in the back of his mind. I want him to experience this world without that, because he has gone through Tyria with enough weight on his shoulders. I cannot have him carry that again. Not here.
[A sigh. This is just as frustrating as it had been the first time, with no clear way out. Not with Trahearne still stubborn about it. But as he said, it's not that he doesn't understand his brother's reasoning. He's not that heartless.]
While I can see your reason, I still think you're being a fool, Trahearne. You're coddling him, and he's stronger than you think. I should know, I've had to put up with him while dealing with an elder dragon. As did you.
[Oh look, he actually said something nice and praised someone! Kind of.]
[What is this... Canach respecting someone... It almost stunned him into silence. Not really, though, it's more that he can't argue it.]
I know he is strong. He is stronger than I am by any means. I required his counsel on a majority of my decisions. Yet... he is so young, and I regret the responsibilities I thrust onto him. I merely... [He exhaled.] My passing is something I don't favor facing on my own, let alone seeing his devastation.
You aren't wrong. I would like to be able to tell him. I care for him deeply. I just cannot begin to imagine how.
[He drags a hand down his face. He doesn't know what he expected.]
Yes, Canach. Hold my hand. Tell me it will be alright, and that the Pale Tree believes in me while you're at it. [Be the firstborn you always wanted to be.]
[Oh he actually got Trahearne to say something sarcastic. Progress. There might actually be amusement on his side, a small break from the brevity.]
While I refuse to actually do that, if you really do need my company I could oblige this once. After all, I know as well. It would not be far easier if he dealt the both of us together instead of trying to seek me out later.
[So is he actually being considerate or is he looking at it through a practical lens? Or both? Maybe both.]
[Now this Trahearne is surprised by. He was making an offer, and it came without a remark on the firstborn. Was it progress, or simply a break? Who knows.]
I... I would appreciate that. You were alongside him on the journey to Mordremoth, so I am sure you would make it easier for him to understand. [Not that it could ever really be easy...] How he will take it, on the other hand...
... It isn't something I'd like break to him over coffee. I have to prepare. It will be a time after I face Thras.
[Just let him distract you with dragon news, Canach. He's actually doing something with his life.]
I have signed up to be Thras' representative. He is the Arehtei I am aligned. [He sighs.] I have heard he resembles a dragon, and I am certain I will encounter him in the challenges. They will occur in five days.
[There's many reasons he can think of it why it wouldn't be, but he's doing his best to stay positive about it.] So long as it is truly not life-threatening. As you can imagine, I've had enough of that.
Why do you think it would not be? ... I am asking out of genuine curiosity. [Just in case there's any doubt. He doesn't want to irritate him. He's on a good streak of not getting made fun of.]
It's more that I have no idea what to think of these Arehtei, and I admit that is mostly due to my lack of knowledge and experience with them. It would seem the majority of people here have good relations with them. At the very least they seem more like a combination of the human gods and the Elder Dragons than being entirely one or the other.
But it's the similarities to the latter that concern me. For obvious reasons.
[Those being that they know very well what Elder Dragons are capable of and they're both having to use their own experience to try and get any kind of understanding.]
I understand. Upon arrival, I never would have set foot near them. For obvious reasons. [A rather traumatic death by one dragon was a good one.] But as time has passed, I think direct interaction will be more effective than aversion. They are not actively threatening lives of this world's inhabitants, and I hope to discover their intentions overtime should I succeed in the challenges.
... If it is any comfort, I will keep you informed should that be the case. I will need you and the commander both should one become hostile as Sosyne has before.
I appreciate working with you, Canach. I do hope keeping contact with a firstborn will not be too hard on you. [He might be having a little fun with this. Just a little.]
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Yes, I have. [How much does he actually know about her? We just don't know.] And what does that change, exactly?
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The Countess isn't an idiot. Whether I tell her or not, she'll figure out something is amiss eventually. And the longer you keep the truth from Syrlya, the worse it's going to be.
[And something like a mental mutter—] I never should have agreed to this from the start.
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I am not stringing a web of lies to Syrlya. I am avoiding revealing to him what occurred, and I am avoiding it with good reason. Do not think I am peace with it. The fact it is for the better makes it no less difficult, but it is a fact none-the-less.
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Yes, and tell me this. How do you think Syrlya is going to think when not one, not two, but three people knew the truth and he did not? Or what if someone else from our world appears? Someone from my time and someone who is not caught by one of us first?
What are you going to do then?
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I don't imagine I would be the first thing to come up between them. [He knows it's a weak response. But he hadn't come up with sound resolution for it. It's time to fall back on the why.] ... You must understand why I do not want him to know this, Canach. It would be all the commander thinks about. All our time together here, however long that may be, will be spent with the fact I will be gone lingering in the back of his mind. I want him to experience this world without that, because he has gone through Tyria with enough weight on his shoulders. I cannot have him carry that again. Not here.
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While I can see your reason, I still think you're being a fool, Trahearne. You're coddling him, and he's stronger than you think. I should know, I've had to put up with him while dealing with an elder dragon. As did you.
[Oh look, he actually said something nice and praised someone! Kind of.]
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I know he is strong. He is stronger than I am by any means. I required his counsel on a majority of my decisions. Yet... he is so young, and I regret the responsibilities I thrust onto him. I merely... [He exhaled.] My passing is something I don't favor facing on my own, let alone seeing his devastation.
You aren't wrong. I would like to be able to tell him. I care for him deeply. I just cannot begin to imagine how.
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Do I need to hold your hand as you tell him?
[There is so much dryness in his voice it's like he sucked out the water out of everything and turned it into a desert.]
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Yes, Canach. Hold my hand. Tell me it will be alright, and that the Pale Tree believes in me while you're at it. [Be the firstborn you always wanted to be.]
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While I refuse to actually do that, if you really do need my company I could oblige this once. After all, I know as well. It would not be far easier if he dealt the both of us together instead of trying to seek me out later.
[So is he actually being considerate or is he looking at it through a practical lens? Or both? Maybe both.]
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I... I would appreciate that. You were alongside him on the journey to Mordremoth, so I am sure you would make it easier for him to understand. [Not that it could ever really be easy...] How he will take it, on the other hand...
... It isn't something I'd like break to him over coffee. I have to prepare. It will be a time after I face Thras.
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And of course, Canach would prefer if this were done immediately. However, this is a bit of interesting news.]
Face Thras?
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I have signed up to be Thras' representative. He is the Arehtei I am aligned. [He sighs.] I have heard he resembles a dragon, and I am certain I will encounter him in the challenges. They will occur in five days.
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Do you really think it such a good idea?
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Why do you think it would not be? ... I am asking out of genuine curiosity. [Just in case there's any doubt. He doesn't want to irritate him. He's on a good streak of not getting made fun of.]
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But it's the similarities to the latter that concern me. For obvious reasons.
[Those being that they know very well what Elder Dragons are capable of and they're both having to use their own experience to try and get any kind of understanding.]
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... If it is any comfort, I will keep you informed should that be the case. I will need you and the commander both should one become hostile as Sosyne has before.
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Very well. It's about as much as we can do at this point, anyway.
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I appreciate working with you, Canach. I do hope keeping contact with a firstborn will not be too hard on you. [He might be having a little fun with this. Just a little.]
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The only thing that's been too hard has been your foolishness in trying to keep this all a secret to begin with. [A snort.]
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[That is, don't do anything stupid Trahearne.
And why is he having to play elder brother here.]